Monday, April 24, 2006

Ed Hates: Number One - Fred Phelps

Oh God. This is almost too easy. Fred Phelps is one of those hilarious individuals who try to compensate for their overwhelming self-loathing, baffling medieval prejudices, inadequate phalluses and spectacularly demented stupidity by using their evangelical Christian pretences to protest about ludicrous issues. For the uninformed, Fred Phelps is an American man (I use the word 'man' loosely to include shrivelled anaemic walking corpses with the sentient powers and cogent reasoning skills of Toilet Duck) who leads a 'Church' consisting almost entirely of him and his brainwashed family. This 'Church' is so obsessively homophobic that they organised a protest at the funeral of a deceased soldier because he fought for a 'nation which condones homosexual activity' and regularly organise other protests at events which may possibly, under certain circumstances, be considered to perhaps have the vaguest semblance of a connection to something which arguably has the slightest link to condoning homosexuality. Apart from the fact that 'blaming' the soldier for this is rather like Mick Jagger blaming his rampant adultery on the evil plotting of his testicles, no sentient being gives the remotest flying Pope whether people are homosexual or not. The issue is about as significant to anyone normal as Chantelle's face.

And of course, when the preposterous zombified cabbage dies, which, judging by the fact that his views (as with those of all evangelical morons who actually believe that the world was created a few thousand years ago and that dinosaur bones are a 'test of faith' as opposed to a clear fact which obliterates their side-splittingly ridiculous delusions) confirm that his birthdate was early in the twelth century, must be very soon, surely his funeral must be protested against as he lives in a country which condones homosexuality? Why does he not live in Afghanistan, a country where decent, upstanding, jaw-droppingly deluded fundamentalist heterosexuals happily decapitate those nasty homosexuals? Hopefully while he's there he might be fortunate enough to fall prey to twenty or so nice malignant diseases and be able to swiftly enjoy the pleasures of whatever hellish afterlife is in store for him. Moron.

Here is a nice family photo of the rabid homophobic muppets. Aren't they just the cutest bigoted braindead maniacs?


Ed's Mood: Sardonic

Ed's Incessant Auto-Repeat Musical Tip: The Stranglers - Walk On By


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